Tuesday, March 31, 2009


Tuesday, March 31, 2009

It has been days since I last used my camera, unusual for me since I have been able to click away even during my toxic duties. I decided to have a walk and take a few shots. I ended up in this nice "sanctuary" just across my place (I always end up there anyway). They have been renovating for sometime now, I wanted to take photos of the people at work but ended up talking to visitors. It never fails that I meet people who would tell stories of their lives. I wonder... psychology, not a bad choice but in the Philippines... I don't think so.

This place had been a witness to my life and continues to be. Its not my planned visits here that strengthens my faith but my detours, my conversations with strangers, my silence.

When words become unclear, I shall focus with photographs. When images become inadequate, I shall be content with silence.

-=Ansel Adams=-

Monday, March 30, 2009


Monday, March 30, 2009
In the middle of washing my dishes, I get this premonition that I'd be spending my afternoon in the company of my bed. I had this mind numbing, or was it throbbing, idea of sulking it off throughout the rest of the day. After a while my head starts to throb and I turn off every light and sound source. Start to pray that I had access to the coldest room while I try to lull myself to sleep. I used to curse every pain medicine, afraid that I'd be dependent on it. Lately I've decided that my time wouldn't be wasted on migraines. Thirty minutes after taking in one pill, the excruciating pain disappears.
Its not a joke having migraine. Through out my stint in the ER, I realized how these headaches could paralyze one's day. Its classical presentation begins with an aura, then it progresses to this severe one sided headache (from the old enlish "megrim" meaning severe headache). It may be accompanied by nausea, sensitivity to light or even sound. I used to induce vomiting as I've learned that sometimes it relieves me of the headache. The downside of that was I was scarring my throat. While treating my patients I soon realized that I should do what I was preaching. Avoid, avoid, avoid.
Migraine has so many triggers and it varies from one person to another. I've encountered people whose trigger included caffeine while I on the other hand found that caffeine relieves me of my headache. Until now I don't know what exactly my triggers are, but one particular ingredient I was able to pinpoint yesterday. Pepper and a certain amount really triggered my migraine.

Here are the most common triggers:

  • Strong odors/perfumes
  • Bright lights, loud noises
  • Changes in sleep/wake patterns
  • Skipping meals
  • Alcohol
  • Menstrual cycle fluctuations
  • Stress
  • Foods containing tyramine (red wine, aged cheese, smoked fish, chicken livers, figs, and some beans), monosodium glutamate (MSG), or nitrates (like bacon, hot dogs, and salami)
  • Other foods such as chocolate, nuts, peanut butter, avocado, banana, citrus, onions, dairy products, and fermented or pickled foods

  • Friday, March 27, 2009

    getting there

    Friday, March 27, 2009
    In an unplanned detour a few days ago, I stayed in a place I thought that I wouldn't last long. I didn't want to return because of so many reasons, but mainly it was because going back makes me miss most of where I used to be. Returning would make me want to go back. But going away was my choice. A difficult one at that. I find myself in regret sometimes because I've chosen to let go of stability and the familiar world. 
    The unplanned detour made me let go of the past, though not completely, but I'm getting there.

    there's a broken heart that's healing there's a life that has been changed
    there are answers to the prayers that you have prayed
    when you're sure your soul can't make it one more day
    love will find you there and light your way

    Monday, March 9, 2009

    i am in love with the world

    Monday, March 9, 2009
    The first time I've heard of this song was way back 1997 as a tribute to Princess Di's death. It was the first and last time that I heard the song. The internet hasn't reached the mountains before so I didn't have any other source but the radio. The radio however played Elton John's tribute instead. Thankfully someone had posted this through youtube and hearing the song all-over again reminded me of why I fell in love with the song in the first place.

    This song was sung by the Chickenshed Theatre with Lissa Herman as the lead vocal.

    I am in love with the world
    With its fires and its seas and its pain
    I am in love with the world
    As it spins round my soul again

    I fell in love with the world
    When it gave me a place to be (ooh)
    You cannot fall out of love
    With your world shining through (ooh)
    Let your world fall in love with you

    With you

    You think you're lost to the world
    With your life lived in shadows of fear
    (Shadows of fear)
    Days lost without you too long
    No-one close no-one kind no-one near
    (No-one near)

    You try to hide when your world dies inside
    Never fade away (ooh)
    Dreams turn to stars so you don't
    Lose the end of your day (ooh)
    Let your world fall in love with you
    With you

    I felt your feelings before
    And the world tried to pull me through
    Through all its time and its space
    It is speaking to you



    Friday, March 6, 2009

    walking back home

    Friday, March 6, 2009
    I went home last week. My cousin, sister and I reached Bauio around 2 am, I immediately went to charge my batteries and after around 2 hours, I went out to take photos. I had 1 hour getting used to the "automatic". That included maneuvering the car in the not-so-narrow street plus listening to my dad's instructions...

    Dad: Kabig mo sa kaliwa... (followed by muffled words)
    Me: Ano? (sabay kabig sa kaliwa)
    Dad: Sa kanan!
    Me: (Biglang break tapos di na nakinig ke tatay)

    Reminded me of how my Dad's vision was bad specially at night. The 15 minutes of that was trying to detemine how the radio worked! Everything set, I went on to driving, stop and go, trying to determine what "d/d off" meant. Never did know but well with that small amount of time, noted that the car ran better with that light on.

    I went to Marcos Highway and watched the sunrise instead. Then braved the backroads and discovered this street that showed a great view of marcos highway.

    I reached home eyes getting heavy and went on to sleep the rest of the day. Well, almost.

    The next day, I decided to walk instead. I was dropped of Baguio Medical Center, just outside Camp 8.

    The last time I walked this route was 18 years ago, the day of the earthquake. I remember passing by this place, 2 landslides have already fallen and we had to walk at the very unstable soil. That was one of the time where I really, really prayed hard. Passing by those landslides while "aftershocks" were happening was the second of the most terrifying experiences I've been through. First on the list was running inside Skyworld (the tallest building back then) while the walls and beams were falling around you.

    A few kilometers more is the Camp 8 proper, which gives you the view of why Baguio is cold. :)

    It was nice seeing there are still trees. I'm just hoping that there will be remaining trees when I return home.

    I discovered this small alley where you had to walk down a steep stairs.

    This "denuded" part was there ever since I could remember. All I could say is that those who chose to put up their houses must either be really brave or had great engineers.

    Kennon road has been the route or trucks and buses but because of the frequency of landslides, the traffic was limited to those who come from nearby provinces.

    To those who know where I live, well you must know how far I had to walk. :)

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