Saturday, January 17, 2009

figuring out how to get there

Saturday, January 17, 2009
I've made probably one of the biggest decisions of my life just recently. To tell you the truth, it has been the most thinking I've ever done. I'm not going to write about what it is that brought me to today... practically a bum again (One of my new years resolution: to try not to speak when highly emotional). Not that I am highly emotional now, probably I could say that I am happy... but not highly so. Mixed emotions is what would relate to what I feel right now. Happy yes. Sad, very. Confused, no. Thankful/grateful, very. Truly at peace, very very at peace. Surprisingly.

I couldn't say that the medical profession was my very first choice, I was guided into and grew to love my profession. What drew me to calling medicine as MY profession was when Oprah featured mercy ships. And like many roads, taking the wrong turn doesn't necessarily mean that I made a mistake... probably it meant that I needed to learn something before getting "there". I had hit a crossroad and I honestly am frightened (I could practically hear Aaliyah singing "heart don't fail me now, courage don't desert me...). But what I do know is I want to be here. You may call me idealistic. Probably I am. I will get there, I just need to map it out. And a lot of conversations/meeting/talking with my family...

P.S. and as for my detour... all i could say... sing... right now is "I'm wiser now"
(just the opening line)

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