circle of life

At any given day I would be in my room tucked in my bed either with a good pocketbook or an ever-so-constantly updated medical book. But today, this past week, or these past months is not like any given day. Remember the saying that goes "ang di marunong tumingin sa pinanggalingan ay di marunong makarating sa paroroonan". Well, I did just that and went back to my roots. If someone among the Dicang-Oyam clan would host a get-together, my mom would be the center of it all. For as long as I remember, she has been the one people go to in any occassion or for whatever purpose they might have. More or less, I've known their faces or names but pairing those up would be difficult for me. The past months are no more than a downhill or an uphill, it would be more of a very rocky road. The past months were more of an awakening for me of where I stood, of what I stood for. You see, I've spent most of my life ensconed in "my life". I've never bothered for the things that went on within my relatives. And one event of life ocurring twice would be an eye-opener for me, that my concerns in life does not just include me or my family but also to my other relatives as well. This year was a full year. At this age, I do have an apo, not really a direct one, but well being simplistic and all, I really do have an apo. Giving birth, living life, arriving the end of the road. A complete circle. A closure in a sense.

fragile: handle with care

You may have heard of a person's second childhood in the lectures or around the hospital or maybe even in the T.V. I have heard of it, but never really have listened. A few days ago, I've seen my Grandma stripped of the personality she's been tagged with all of her life. In a mere fraction of a day, I've seen her go from an old lady whose presence commanded respect and voice toned with authority to a person so serene and so innocent. Her life riddled by paranioa was now erased by her new and authentic smile. But the going gets tough, in the hours that followed, with determination she fought off her sleep afraid of not waking up again... dozing off once in a while then checking if me and my mom were still beside her.The past that she has kept now visited her intervalled with lucid minutes. She continues to gaze into the distant past with glazed eyes and once in a while staring at people only she could see. She's gone from the picky eater to eating whatever was served. She, my lola, was the one who took care of me in my infant years. She took care of her many "apos" and in turn her "apos" are now beside her.