Monday, August 4, 2008

Suwerte ka!

Monday, August 4, 2008
when a cup overfloweth
Time and again I've encountered people of whom I've promised to be the topic of my posts. Well here is one.
I've come from my hospital duty tired from lack of sleep. The tour of duty was not that different from most of my duties... I was told to work faster and probably threatened by way of brusque manner which brought me to choking back my tears. In truth, I cried. It's my only release besides photography of my frustrations. Of those who are not familiar with the medical field, there is this ladder you are to climb ( I suppose in all fields there is) and you start beneath the food chain. In terms of responsibilities and work, if your senior says "jump", you don't have to ask "how high", just jump. But that is what I am used to, today we encounter medical students (clerks/interns) who are not used to work, so imagine the students asking us to do jobs that they are supposed to do. Imagine being at the bottom of the food chain being pushed further down, maybe to nothingness...
In any way, me being myself just took it all in. Cried a little. Wiped my tears and faced my patients red-eyed. In more ways than one, I try to convince myself that everything I go through are for my improvement. For whatever it is, I am yet to know. Thankfully my patients were kind enough not to ask, one even tried to boost my mood after witnessing my near to breakdown event. I am glad that I am reminded that what I am doing is not entirely wrong, that there are people who do appreciate what I do. Looking back my duty is not entirely tiring when it came to work, just from the lack of sleep.
That's not my story. Just a prelude to let you know how much I appreciate what happened to me on my way home. After my duty, I had to stay at the hospital to complete my other responsibilities (census). It was past 9 that I left the hospital, and wrestled with wanting to stay for another 30 minutes to watch "Cinderella" (the japanese version), yet another one of my de-tox activities. But the lack of sleep won me over so I went on my way home. I have this thing for walking, I love walking. My day won't be complete without it. On my daily route, I pass by Chowking, to which I usually buy my breakfast/lunch/dinner. Entering the fastfood chain, I was glad there were not much customers, meaning I would be leaving with my food, fast. Waiting for my food, I notice another customer who ordered after me, asking the cashier of their other branches preferably near Araneta avenue. I took no interest in that but I was intrigued in how hyper she is versus my dwindling energy at that time. She seats by me and tells me the story of the new BPI freebie system. She tells me of how purchasing at least a thousand pesos with BPI credit card system, you are able to avail free meals at Chowking. She was so thrilled in that she will be able to give whatever freebie she take to her grandchildren and to her other relatives. It was a refreshing conversation as I rarely do have any other conversation with strangers unless they are patients I tend to. She told me of so many things but one thing struck me most is that she was happy that whatever she could take from this she would be able to give to others. And there I was fighting of my sleep when she told me "Alam mo, swerte ka." (You know, you're lucky/in luck). "Po?" was my only answer to that. She told me not to leave for she would be giving me one of the meals she was able to avail. Despite my protests, she was persistent, I finally relented to her when she told me that I shouldn't refuse whatever gift that was being given to me. With repeated "thank you's", we parted ways. I didn't ask for her name. I wanted her to be one of my angels. She didn't realize a far greater gift she gave me. A memory, a reminder I could keep for my lifetime. As for the meal... I hope that it filled an empty stomach.

Tuesday, August 28, 2007

an angel smiling on you

Tuesday, August 28, 2007
By Catherine Pulsifer, © 2007
Tears streamed down my face as I sat at my grandmother's funeral. My grandmother lived a very full life, and was full of energy, love, and wisdom. She always said the right thing for the situation. And, whenever we had a problem, we knew we could talk with Grandma.
As a teenager, I can remember many conversations where Grandmother would give us here worldly wisdom and she would always end up saying you have an angel smiling on you dear I know you will do the right thing.
Now, here we were at her funeral, and I was thinking of her saying of angels smiling on us. Now, I really knew I had an angel smiling on me as I am sure Grandma was in heaven smiling down and watching out for us.
I offered to help my Mum sort through Grandma's apartment. The next few days were filled with memories, and filled with laughter, and filled with tears. As we sorted through Grandma's stuff, it brought back some wonderful memories.
I was packing the last of the dishes when my mum called to me. I went into Grandma's bedroom, and my mum handed me a package with my name written on it. I opened the box and read the poem:
May this little Angel shine upon your home
Filling your days with cheer
Know that She stands on guard for you
To help you smile all year.
And Grandma had handwritten, "Hang this stained glass angel in your window to remind you of your angel Kate! Love Grandma"
To this day, I have the stained glass angel hanging in my bedroom window. And, every time I look at it I can hear Grandma saying:
"You have an angel smiling on you dear, I know you will do the right thing."
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